1. Write down the facts of what happened, minus all of the story and embellishments that typically go along with being upset, hurt or wronged. 
    
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2.  Write down all of your thoughts about what happened. Get all of the story out. Write and write and write until you don’t have anything left to say.
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3.  Write down exactly how you feel about what happened. Don’t pull any punches. Feel all the anger, the hurt, the pain, the sadness, the, the rage. It’s O.K. When you  take a deep and honest look at yourself and how it really feels to maintain any negative feelings, you’ll discover immediately that it’s not worth it. So dig deep.
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4.  Usually there is a payoff (something positive you’re getting) out of not forgiving. Take some time to think about what that might be and then write it down. The longer you think about this and the more you explore it, the more you will get  much deeper levels of release. This step holds the key to your freedom.
     
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5.   Look for similar patterns in your life where this situation has occurred and write  down what seems to be the common denominator between those events. In other words, was someone always taking advantage of you? Were you always the victim of some theft?
     
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6.  Look at the decisions you made about yourself and your world as a result. Did you decide you can’t trust people? Did you decide that relationships are bad?
   
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7.   Look closely at the results of all of those situations and write down your thoughts about why you would need to keep creating those results over and     over again. For example, if you were abandoned as a child and as an adult, you keep picking relationships where you partner leaves, (through what seems
to be no fault of your own) begin to examine why those results keep showing up.
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8.  Reframe the event and turn it into something positive. It may look horribly negative.  And from one point of view, it may not appear to have any positive
aspect to it, but keep looking. Look for the blessing in disguise in each situation. In other words, what did you learn about yourself and how can you use that to make your life better or the world better. People who have been the victim of gun crimes have gone onto become crusaders for gun control. People who have lost loved ones in hospitals due to malpractice have gone onto change the laws that save many lives.  
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9.  List all of the positive benefits you’ll get once you forgive what needs to be forgiven. When you find out how great those benefits are, you’ll want to forgive yourself  immediately
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10. Take whatever appropriate action is necessary. Write a letter. Make a phone call. Visit the person. Start a campaign or create a foundation if you feel compelled. Just jot some quick ideas down here. The last chapter will help you put a plan in place should you decide to do something big.
      
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